Yo mama so fat, when she wore a yellow raincoat...
People yelled, "Taxi!"
Yo mama so old, her social security number is...
1.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box for two hours because...
It said "concentrate."
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need the internet.
She's already worldwide.
Yo mama so ugly, she turned Medusa into...
Stone.
Yo mama so poor, she went to McDonald's and...
Put a burger on layaway.
Yo mama so fat, when she bungee jumps...
She goes straight to hell.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a ruler next to her bed to see...
How long she slept.
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when...
He was still a Prince.
Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a...
Tampon.
Yo mama so short, she has to use a ladder to...
Tie her shoes.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put M&Ms in...
Alphabetical order.
Yo mama so fat, her belt is the...
Equator.
Yo mama so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said...
"Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate is on...
Papyrus.
Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
(No punchline needed, the setup is the gag!)
Yo mama so fat, when she sits on a dollar bill...
She squeezes a booger out of George Washington.
Yo mama so poor, when I saw her kicking a can, I asked what she was doing.
She said, "Moving."
Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boombox in the air and...
It didn't want to come back down.
Yo mama so fat, her GPS says...
"Recalculating... please, one at a time!"
Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at...
The Last Supper.
Yo mama so stupid, she climbed a glass wall to see...
What was on the other side.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use a VCR for a...
Pager.
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in the mirror...
The reflection ducks.
Yo mama so fat, when she wears high heels...
She strikes oil.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own zip code.
And her own area code.
Yo mama so old, she was the person who...
Taught God how to walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl...
Because she heard there was a giant bowl of cereal.
Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate is...
An apology letter from the condom factory.
Yo mama so poor, she waves around a popsicle...
And calls it air conditioning.
Yo mama so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed...
At the same time.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to wash her car...
With the "Windows" open.
Yo mama so old, she remembers when the Grand Canyon...
Was just a ditch.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach...
The tide comes in.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born...
The doctor slapped her mother.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a phone in the oven...
Because she wanted to make a "hot" call.
Yo mama so poor, she can't even afford...
To pay attention.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use a map...
To find her own belly button.
Yo mama so old, her memory is in...
Black and white.
Yo mama so ugly, when she walked into a haunted house...
She came out with a paycheck.
Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale...
It says "To be continued."
Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback...
Was a refund.
Yo mama so old, her social security number is...
In Roman Numerals.
Yo mama so fat, when she wears a "B" on her belt...
It stands for "Boulevard."
Yo mama so ugly, she made an onion cry.
(Short and sweet!)
Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car...
For gas money.
Yo mama so fat, when she dances...
The band skips.
Yo mama so poor, she can't even afford to...
Buy a "For Sale" sign.
Yo mama so ugly, she turned the "Exorcist"...
Into a Christian.
Yo mama so fat, her shadow weighs...
20 pounds.